No Alcohol November ~ Day Eight
Four Physical Characteristics of Alcoholism and Addiction
You may think people don’t know, but some physical signs will betray your secrets.
My no-nonsense counselor told me I’m not a “high-functioning alcoholic,” as I like to joke.
I’m just an employed drunk.
She could tell I was drinking again. Not because she could smell it but because of the way I looked.
My darkened, glassy eyes. My puffy face. The recent weight gain that I couldn’t hide anymore.
She asked me if I was drinking again, and I told her, “no.”
She sat staring at me in silence.
I knew she knew.
It is awkward and unsettling to be caught in a lie. I felt like a hypocrite, a phony, a fake, a weak idiot.
The pit in my stomach was a good sign that maybe my moral compass wasn’t completely broken, and maybe I still cared.
I don’t honestly know if the way I was feeling was shame or anxiety.
Shame because I knew she knew I was lying, and I would have to fess up to my failure.
